I’m not sure where to begin. I’m not sure where this road is leading me. I’ve been on this same path for months now. Seems like years. When I first began, I had the excitement of the new journey. The excitement is not gone; it is just that realization has set in.
For all that I had expected this journey to be – it has been.
All that I have expected to see – I have seen.
All that I have wanted to feel – I have felt.
Yet, it is still not what I want.
My purpose for the journey was to reach a part of the mountain that no man has been able to describe to me. I thought that I was traveling with others that had been here before. For they said that they had, but I have found that even they had not obtained what I was here searching for. Of course, I still didn’t quite know what exactly that was.
All I know at the moment is that my feet are still tired and sore. My backpacks of belongings were left on the side of the path long ago and the view only gets better – yet not satisfying. I guess it was this same unsatisfaction that had called me to this journey in the first place.
I have watched many on this path turn back. I have also watched others as they set up camp off to the side of this unused road. They have seen the view and are taken aback. Instead of deciding to continue to a better place – they decide that the current view is enough for them and so it is that small towns have begun to spring up in places where towns were never meant to be. Springs that are meant for a refreshing drink as you walk the path have become a source for those who decide to stay and travel no further. They don’t understand that it is not meant for them to dwell beside. It is not meant to be the climax of their journey to more.
This is not more. This trickle of a stream is hardly the beginning, yet how do you convince someone of something you cannot explain? How do you tell them to continue on something that you don’t know where exactly it leads?
I’ve stumbled a few times. Lost a bit of pride as humility sets in. I’ve thought how easy it would be to be a dweller on the side. Yet, I cannot stop for satisfaction in the wayside because satisfaction has no place next to a trickle of a stream.
With all that is within me, with every breath that I breathe, and with every step that I take, I continue on in my journey. I know that there are potholes waiting to be a stumbling block. I know that I will pass many more streams and dwellers on the side. I know that I will try again to convince others to keep on the journey to the inside, but the one thing that that I know for sure is that there will always be that small something of unsatisfaction that will make me travel on.
I am different.
I am not a dweller of the things on the side.
I am a journeyman. A mover.
I will continue against all odds.
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